The Flesh Files, Vol. I

Have you ever had those times when you are just living your life and going hard for God and then, almost out of nowhere, you get tempted with something from your past that tries to throw you off track? Or maybe you’ve experienced times when the bad & sinful version of you is trying to overpower the good & holy version of you. It’s like, your spirit is talking to you but your flesh IS NOT trying to hear it!

That was the case for me about two weeks ago. One Thursday night, out of nowhere, I wanted to buy a bottle of Moscato wine and go in on it! It was the most random thing! Now in my BC [before Christ] days, I really enjoyed drinking…well, I really enjoyed getting drunk. But, once I rededicated my life to Christ, I completely gave it up. It’s been about three years since I have stopped drinking so it wasn’t as if it were in my normal routine to want to drink let alone, drink a whole bottle of wine by myself. I toyed with the idea of going to pick up a bottle after work that evening but by the time I got off all I wanted to do was go home. The following Saturday, the idea popped back into my head. This time it was more intense and I was closer to actually doing it.

That evening, I ordered some sushi and in the same shopping center was a Harris Teeter (which was where I had planned to get the wine from). So, me being curious to see if they even had the Moscato in stock, I moseyed on over there and lo and behold they had it. One last bottle sitting there all lonely, waiting to be taken to someone’s home to be enjoyed. Not only was it the last bottle, but it was on sale! I looked at the bottle for a while and decided to visit the other aisles to think about whether or not I should purchase it. I weighed all the options and possible outcomes.

The bad & sinful version of me was thinking of the reasons why I could get away with it. There was no one around so it would be something that only I knew about. All I had to do was go home, take it in my room and chill. And it was the LAST bottle…it had to be meant for me, right? And it’s on sale? What?! That’s definitely for me! Well, I came very close to buying it when the good & holy version of me thought about why I shouldn’t do it. I’m active enough in my church to the point where I’ve been out-and-about and people that I don’t know say that they’ve seen me in church before. Since that had happened a few times, I got nervous about that happening the one time I decided to buy wine. I kept picturing the cashier saying, “I see her in church serving everywhere and she drinks wine, it must be okay for me then.” So that put a damper on my excitement. Another thing was that I was going to church the next day and I wouldn’t have felt right getting tipsy and then strutting into church like everything was okay. Furthermore, even if no one were to see me and if I were able to “get away with it” I still wouldn’t have felt right mainly because I know what I represent and who I represent. God would have seen me and I know that I have people watching me as well and I would not feel right doing something like that as if it were something that I promoted. So in the end, I decided to just not to go through with it. I had too much to lose from doing so.

We all have those times when we feel our flesh trying to take precedence over our spirit but just know that you don’t have to give in to it. There are ways to get overcome it. Also, don’t think that if you are being put in a tempting situation that you have sinned. The sin is not the temptation itself but rather, the actual act of giving in to that temptation. Stay strong my friends! (I wanted to say, “Stay thirsty” but I think that would have implied the wrong message given the subject matter of this post…ha!)

Note: As a personal preference, I stopped drinking entirely because I always drank with the intention of getting drunk. So, as a result, I do not drink…period. This is not to condemn those of you who do drink wine nor am I condoning it, this is just what works for me.

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